he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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