when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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