the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
We left an ass print on the piano.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
