Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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