You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Randomize
