Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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