A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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