He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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