those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
