It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
