quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
