yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
