why didn't you poke me back
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
