Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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