i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You're like the curious george of whores
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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