Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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