he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
