either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
