You're a womanizer and a bitch.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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