i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
