i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
