you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
