This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He better not be in your backpack
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
