Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize