THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
