Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize