Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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