fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
