Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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