OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
