in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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