why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
