We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
