I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
