"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
tell me about the eggs
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
