I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
