Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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