Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize