I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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