Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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