i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
