I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
