goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
