I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I have aggressive nipples.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
