I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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