they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Too much gin, very little bucket
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize