you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
