dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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