Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize