hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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