You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
