I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize