She is in my trunk
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
