I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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