Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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