We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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