she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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