she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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