I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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