Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize