yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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