your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize