That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
