I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The air was thick with penises
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
