Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
