I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
We're too hungover to prance.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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