I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
