i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
